Stepping Over the Page

It hurts to envision the imminent
You've been left behind
Watch my feet race each other
Keep reality from my mind

Bringing up the rear is permanent
But when I look to each side I find
Children, fathers, and mothers
Walking with me, equally blind

All struggling with the same omnipotence
Forcing this path on mankind
With so many our path smothered
Yet solitude.

The future is written in words we cannot read
Walking through pages words become our feet

Characters in literature,
Leaping for the last page
Landing in the next sentence
This book will last an age

It doesn't matter to be mature
When nothing matters in a moment
When you're just being written and read
Just another wretched component

In an odyssey so massive
So dark yet so very litten
There's no time for us to be passive
Our story needs to be written.

Robotic

I am in between everybody
being introduced to nobody.
Busy waiting for somebody
Who could really be anybody.

Robotic I go through the motions
Suppressing uninvited emotions
In a puddle I sit with the notion
That I want something more like the ocean

Cause you're all so very familiar
I'm just the kid who's much sillier
My attention nothing but peculiar
Persuading myself it's not just really her

Goodbye and then switch to hey there, hello
to other people who just don't care, it blows.
I'm not Fort Minor, pondering where'd you go?
I'm Immortal Technique and I'm prepared to show

The truth about a system as I strongly believe
say it to myself and you and wait for me to receive.
Trapped I wait here imagining freedom to leave
If I could leave then I'd be less easily deceived

A robot who seems to always be testing wrong
But instead of pushing my off button pressing on
In confusion arguing my case I'm a testy con
and though I'm weak there's still God that I'm resting on.

The Detective of the Mystery of You

I don't know who you are
But you should know I'm happy to hear.
We're both interesting so far
Just wait until I bring you fear

I really haven't seen you
Except for here and there.
If you let me get to know you I'll see you everywhere.

You, you're the book that I've always owned.
But I've never read it. Just everyone else.
Now I see the cover. It's still new, but you've grown.
Can I read it now? It looks intriguing.

You're the friend of a friend.
So I say "Hey that's you"
But with my old friends your friendship end.
Ours can just be new.

You're the classic action movie
The one I haven't seen.
I pretended I have cause know you're groovy.
But now I just want to watch the screen.

You're the person that I now speak to.
Why not? Theres nothing to lose.
When we meet again there may be a breathrough.
Let's face it, you haven't refused.

I'd Write a Rap to My Heartbeat, But I Don't Know the Words

Do you like to open the door? I like to crash through the window
I'll break through the glass, and examine my cuts later.
I look at the shards on the floor. Into the house the wind blows.
I was trying to move fast. My plan smolders to a crater.

I've found that reading is helpful. Not that it really helps me understand.
It was a great story to hear. Maybe I can use it to debate.
I'm definitely just as thoughtful. But I've also used my hands.
Sometimes my actions are out of fear. The point is there is action of late.

The land of confusion is more confusing when you're confused,
So please close your mouth if you think you have it right.
Sometimes I'm passionate. Sometimes happy. Hateful. Amused.
Only God can tell us how this is all black and white.

Revenge creates a unique story. Not that I'd know too well.
But I know to an extent, and it's still a part of everything.
Sometimes it ends gory and sometimes you realize that you fell.
Everything is unpredictable, including vengeance that we bring.

But did we really bring it? Or maybe we're still just stupid
Confused. Living life in joy. A little annoyed at cupid.
But my wheels are turning. Don't you dare think they're not.
I still have this burning. Theres more battles to be fought.

Fighting Fire By Ignoring It

Things have changed. They always do.
If I went back east they'd see me as wrong,
A little deranged without a clue
We had arguments there all along.
Slowly finding judgment, strong and new.
For once I hold my tongue, maybe skip the song.

Currently I'm west, cause the east tried to steal it.
Steal what? My freedom. So we parted ways.
I thought coming back would hopefully heal it.
Naturally, there's just some more eyebrows i raise.
I feel uncomfortable. Do they too feel it?
Am I right in sensing their internal gaze?

Or maybe it's me, and the knowledge of who I am,
When neither east or west know the half.
My river's nice and flowing, they want to build a dam.
What is their problem? They don't know if they're right.
I'm laughing. They're confronting. I don't give a damn.
Although the mood in here is getting a little tight.
It's hard to explain. I wouldn't call it a scam.
But the strategy? I'll be honest I don't think it's right.
So they're coming to my castle with a battering ram.
But they just can't find the castle in the dead of the night.

So now I'm different, but I remember myself there.
They'll probably try to save me. I don't really care.
I know Im saved. I see my savior everywhere.
I know that someday there is heaven we'll share.
I also know that I've changed very much.
I'm different, but his love is still filling me up.
I'm sorry if Starsky doesn't recognize Hutch,
But I'm tired and different, and now I'll shut up.

My Alarm Clock

I have this image. It's up in my head.
It's quite a lot like a nightmare.
But it's not. It's the future.
It's just buzzing around in my head.
It needs to get out. It needs to happen.

Some people say that dreams come true.
I kind of doubt it. I had one about you.

It was fun and peaceful. I love the unconscious world.
But even in the moment, you know, when I was asleep,
When I was in the middle of my head and the story was swirled,
I actually knew it was fake, but something I wanted to keep.

But next, I don't really have to tell you.
Everyone can relate to this.
When all at once, my dream was through,
I woke up and realized my fate was this.

Reality, and the fact that what's inside my head,
Well if it isn't put into action I guess something's dead.
What I want doesn't really apply in the end.
What's best is better. I must be willing to bend.
I'll be walking. Not blind, but in honesty I can't see.
But I guess I'm going somewhere, cause you're still guiding me.

Nightmares of Flight

All the words I know by heart.
But if I take them to heart, I can't tell.
I could learn about birds and gain some smarts
And I wouldn't fly any more well.
I could write you a book on how not to fall apart,
My words, they could save you from hell.
I know all these answers. Trust me I do,
But if I told you they were me it wouldn't be true.
So I won't. I guess I'll just tell you the truth,
Even though the idea chills me.
I'll do it though, I'm no more than a youth,
Yet I already know that lies cannot fill me.
Or maybe they can, but I know the boat leaks
And now with my bucket I'm bailing
I'm using my hands, but I'm not going where I seek.
I stopped paddling, because with this bucket I'm flailing.
I need to shower. I know that I reek.
But my boat is filling. In everything I'm failing.
I don't have power. We both know I'm not meek.
So I frantically dump it out, not paddling or sailing.
If I only patched the hole. Apparently there's a leak.
Maybe I can stop the water before it starts raining.

The truth? Sometimes I wish I was me
Looking at myself. It sounds prideful I know.
But then I'd know my thoughts. I'd give advice to me.
Advice that me, and just me would know.
Cause there's all this fear, this anxiety around me.
There's these struggles I never had the pleasure to know.
Then the other ones, the chains that still surround me.
I could write myself a book from the stuff I know.
My heart isn't in it, but I do know how to help me.
If you were a bird, I'd know all you need to know
To get you up in the air, to flap your wings,
To care but not care, to burst out and sing,
To know life isn't fair, it's cruel and it's mean.
To see what's everywhere, live in it and stay clean.
I know my fair share, though I'm nothing but a teen.
Sometimes I can't get anywhere.
The truth is, I don't know a thing.

Broken Machinery and the Mechanic

It's alright. Theres so much I need to learn.
Somebody still has to teach me.
This knowledge, this stuff I'm trying to yearn,
I guess I'll just let it reach me.

I love being a train, cruising the track,
Unable to see the lane. I'm busy looking back.
Oh look. To my right, that must be the railing.
If you'd helped before tonight, I admit smoother sailing.
But that's my fault. You were waiting all along.
As the wound filled with salt, I just tried to be strong,
But I should've let you clean it. That's just being smart.
You all don't know how I mean it. You don't know my heart.
Sometimes I just choose stupidity. Actually a lot.
Or trying so hard endlessly. Now, for me, I stop.
Don't worry, I haven't gone soft, this isn't me backing down,
This is just me moving forward, instead of losing ground.

Look at the famous. They all have so much pride.
They all know they're awesome. They have lovers spread wide.
But what they don't have, is some depth inside.
They can throw me to the ground. I'd smile. I too have pride.
Something much stronger, cause it's for someone on my side.

Someone I thank, cause they deserve thanks.
Someone I fear, cause he leads the ranks.
Someone I fight for, cause I like to win.
Someone who actually is living within.
Someone I trust, cause he deserves trust.
Someone I love, cause he deserves love.
Someone I struggle with giving all of the above.
Someone who I'm learning to ask help from.
Someone who's making me what he wants me to become.

Someone who I can be stupid for, and for once, use my head.
Because through being stupid for him, I hope he raises you from the dead.

Your Kind Unkind

Let's set it back twelve weeks, and step in my time machine.
Let's do a recap, and discover my thoughts.
You could look at how I was weak, and ignore what my words mean.
Maybe you could look at everything you got.

Or you could step out of yourself.
Maybe, just maybe you could consider it.
After all, that's what I'm doing myself.
I realize I'm not alright. In fact far from it.

I know it comes naturally, to all of you beauties.
You suck in the gaze you've had your whole life.
I wish you were ugly, and that it wasn't your duty,
Your horrid job causes all of us strife.

I know I'm really nobody to talk.
Yes I do know I've done it before.
I also have changed the direction of my walk.
And my footsteps don't touch there anymore.

If it was just me I don't think I would mind.
But the satisfaction you're still getting kills me.
Do you think it's your job to fix these guy's minds?
To screw them over and make them set themselves free?

Do you enjoy it? The pain you've caused?
Do you care about it? Now that it's done?
You want more of it, and it's just because
You simply love it. The attention.

This invisible sword, this is me sheathing it.
In doing that, I know you'll be stabbed.
Your selfishness drug, I know you're needing it.
You can decide when your cut will be scabbed.

I can't decide if if what you need is a friend
It's so ironic, the rules to this game.
Being unable to hurt me again
How it will cause you pain.

Oh, and do me a favor, just this one time.
For whoever thinks this is just directed at you,
Spare yourself the joy of that attention this time.
These words I write, I write to all of you.

Stopped and Going.

I'll probably just repeat it. I don't trust myself to stop.
Maybe say it different ways, and you'll make it fit together.
Embarrassment because of it, The end. It's all dropped.
It'll never be a craze. In this blizzard you cant see the weather.

Here I am, sitting around busy, watching the fantasy.
The fantasy stings, cause I hate it so much.
In the fantasy you're dizzy. The fantasy is reality.
Oh what fun it brings. It's your giant devious crutch.

You're lying, and I know the secret.
Theres something small on the sideline, just try and shake it off.
It hurts me. Cause I know you'll reap it.
The thing you ignore, time after time. It'll come back. You'll be sent off.

I cannot tell what I'm doing. It looks oh so great.
I'm wrestling, as I just keep running laps.
These fantasies keep brewing, the fantasy that I hate.
I know so much truth, and then you produce gaps.

I can handle nightmares, I really don't mind Freddy.
But the world. The world I see. I watch it spring up.
I now have these cares. The truth is I'm not ready.
But it's ready for me, and I can't make it wait up.

It's the everyday that's scary. I don't mind the dreams.
It's the stuff I can't say, not because it's impure,
I'm not gonna be a fairy. I'm a man, and I'm me.
But theres so much left to say, and there isn't really a cure.

I think about being humble, as pride screws me again.
It's my thoughts. I cling to them. I haven't solved their mystery.
I feel another stumble, from another oblivious friend
I might not cling on to them, but I can't let the clues be history.

I'm Braced.

Something is about to happen
I can feel it creeping up.
I know it's waiting for me,
It will randomly erupt.

Something is about to happen
I think the egg will crack.
It must break eventually,
I hope the inside isn't black.

Something is about to happen
Soon my life may burst
Either I will then feel free
Or things are going to get worse.

Something is about to happen
It may turn into a kiss
It may be something filled with glee
I wish I knew more about this.

Something is about to happen.
Will it hit me with a blast?
I wonder who holds the key.
I'll know when it is passed.

Something is about to happen
I know it has to be true
I know I'll be able to breathe
I know the time is due

Something is about to happen
I cannot tell you what
But I know theres something to see
By this feeling in my gut.

Seeing color: a rarity

Some people are a yellow dot on a green page. A yellow dot which is a vessel of immense importance to everyone. A page that seems to only seen by those who are colorblind.

These yellow dots are surrounded by everyone. Everyone being the only people that surround them. Everyone being the people who are content to get by, yet at the same time aren't content with the way things are at all, and are simply waiting for it to change, even though it never changes for the better. Everyone being all the people who are completely different from each other, yet when its narrowed down they all need the same thing. Everyone being the people who in the end simply can't see what is there. Everyone being the colorblind, the ones who cant see the tiny yellow dot that is a part of the green page. They're also the ones who don't want to see it.

That yellow dot screams out at the colorblind. It begs them to see more than the green page. Yellow is all that makes the dot different and important, and it begs everyone to believe in yellow and to become yellow too. Because in the midst of all the green on that page, the few that aren't colorblind walk away remembering the yellow dot, and become yellow themselves.

Not everyone has the ability to see the yellow dot.
Sure anyone can acquire it, but it can't be forced on anyone.

They must simply be given new eyes.

The yellow dot will never give up on the colorblind, but can't force anyone to be yellow.

That's somebody else's job.

"It's not our job to make anyone believe"
-Emery