Debris

You can watch someone's life escape
see it break through the caution tape
into mysterious unknowns beyond.
Planted. Immobilized. Going. It's gone.
Look down to five toes below
to only see asphalt. Scream "Oh no!"
Ankles buried in solid concrete
Tears of fury and balled up conceit.
More tears. I must now admit defeat.
Gulp down feelings and chisel out my feet
Having to step back feels quite less complete.
Makes sense. Things are not quite whole
which seems to play with my head and my soul
Leaving a mystery lingering in my heart
A mystery too messy and strong for me.
How past the caution tape life takes a dart
Away from our anger. Away from the debris.

Destination

Ambling to the very same place I sleep
it's not as fun anymore.
Too exhausted to maintain a life so deep
never been this shallow before.


Filling up on things of the earth,
filling up leaves me empty.
In lives so short things have no worth,
filling up on them corrupts me.


Maybe the answer is people,
the answer to this simple question.
Needing others when I'm feeble,
people, a popular suggestion.

But all people seem to be like me,
we're all stupidly self glorifying.
The way your actions reach out and strike me,
I'm finding my vulnerability horrifying.

The way you say "hello" to me,
but telling me to shutup
like you're eating me
after throwing me up.

Now learning of our twisted desires,
selfish people can't satisfy me or you.
Of all the people who become inspired
those famous aren't those who do it for you.

Travelling on a journey filled with perks
but gifts aren't at the end.
It's somewhere where me, with all my quirks,
will live in a reality, too good for pretend.

Fixing You Break Me

You're broken. Yes you're better but broken.
You're an arcade game. You just ate my token.

But I still try to play, just putting in more.
In last place, stumbling for your high score.

Still here for you. I can't help number one,
but for your benefit I'll still pretend to have fun.

It's selfish. "It" is me, for the thought of giving up.
Eating food flavored you, after throwing it up.

But you're escalating, slowly reaching the top.
You seem even higher as I gradually drop.

But as I cradle you I just resist the desire,
After a year I want to douse this damn fire.

It's late, and tonight I'll barely sleep.
But sincerely, thank you, for your thank you's I keep.

Around Me

Surround me
like roses around a blade of grass
Around me
I see a fantasy of me in the past

Words confusing as the world,
cause the confused who speak are illogical.
Away my great ideas are hurled
they we're unreal and mythological.

Puzzles stop when I stop pondering
forgetting that the pieces haven't fit.
Halfway I'm empty through wandering
still confused as to why I can't quit

A jumble of words that don't need to be written
A hollow person gradually filling up
A fixed heart that wants to be smitten
and I still want to defeat what's killing us

Loneliness and depression being killed with one stone
Different in definition but are they one bird?
Pausing growth towards being full grown
For once I'm afraid because I know it's absurd

Destroy me
It's a funny idea that wouldn't possibly last
Deploy me
I preform a strategy cause I'm on my way back
Bear with me
Slowly picked up, unable to go fast

Strip Me of What's Yours

Looking from my seat to the screen.
The sound bounces forward, reaching for my ears.
The people cross the air, in simply two dimension.
My vision finds them, and then my brain finds my vision.
I have a lot, I'm rich. My realistic luxury is a dream.
I live in a house that's being rented to people.
People detached from the context of the world.
The context. Oh it wants this rental so bad.
It's made up of people who are better for it.
The two dimension sparks a lightbulb.
In reality it's not an idea. It's me catching up.
You of the context have your bodies.
I have everything else.
My vision is clear for once, free from distortion.
Average days send me a below average mood.

A few things are stripped, but it doesn't stop then.
Soon I might be made homeless and alone.
You can take my hair, pull it out from the roots within.
I watch helplessly as you pick out a stone.
Then using it you can shred away my skin,
And then everything else down to the bone.
Then I'll sit there helpless, without any fellow kin.
There's nothing left so I groan.
But in this selfish moment I don't see my sin.
Because I doubt I'll realize that I'm not my own.

Stopped and Going.

I'll probably just repeat it. I don't trust myself to stop.
Maybe say it different ways, and you'll make it fit together.
Embarrassment because of it, The end. It's all dropped.
It'll never be a craze. In this blizzard you cant see the weather.

Here I am, sitting around busy, watching the fantasy.
The fantasy stings, cause I hate it so much.
In the fantasy you're dizzy. The fantasy is reality.
Oh what fun it brings. It's your giant devious crutch.

You're lying, and I know the secret.
Theres something small on the sideline, just try and shake it off.
It hurts me. Cause I know you'll reap it.
The thing you ignore, time after time. It'll come back. You'll be sent off.

I cannot tell what I'm doing. It looks oh so great.
I'm wrestling, as I just keep running laps.
These fantasies keep brewing, the fantasy that I hate.
I know so much truth, and then you produce gaps.

I can handle nightmares, I really don't mind Freddy.
But the world. The world I see. I watch it spring up.
I now have these cares. The truth is I'm not ready.
But it's ready for me, and I can't make it wait up.

It's the everyday that's scary. I don't mind the dreams.
It's the stuff I can't say, not because it's impure,
I'm not gonna be a fairy. I'm a man, and I'm me.
But theres so much left to say, and there isn't really a cure.

I think about being humble, as pride screws me again.
It's my thoughts. I cling to them. I haven't solved their mystery.
I feel another stumble, from another oblivious friend
I might not cling on to them, but I can't let the clues be history.

You Can't Hear Me

In between connection and isolation,
searching for the purpose in the weakness.
Imperfection is flaunted by everyone
But can we be blessed in our meekness?
I hear everyone should be accepted for anything
I also hear their anger at my disagreement
But in their confusion they love their suffering.
I know their hearts can be broken. So can cement.
Could I really accept it all? Should we?
I find logic is invalid and ignored.
Yet logic says one is right, not both you and me.
Theres so many dead in this horde.
A diamond is worth less than a man,
yet as people we leave so fast.
We preserve diamonds. We scheme. We plan.
But do we care if our friends will last?
A quarter way through and I'm dying.
Before I know it I'll be there.
I'm going to spend my time trying.
I want you to know that I care.