Fixing You Break Me

You're broken. Yes you're better but broken.
You're an arcade game. You just ate my token.

But I still try to play, just putting in more.
In last place, stumbling for your high score.

Still here for you. I can't help number one,
but for your benefit I'll still pretend to have fun.

It's selfish. "It" is me, for the thought of giving up.
Eating food flavored you, after throwing it up.

But you're escalating, slowly reaching the top.
You seem even higher as I gradually drop.

But as I cradle you I just resist the desire,
After a year I want to douse this damn fire.

It's late, and tonight I'll barely sleep.
But sincerely, thank you, for your thank you's I keep.

Everything is Something.

Hang on a sec,
Let me sit on my ass little longer.
I'll just hang out while you sit on yours.
I'm not a wreck.
I've realized I'm not becoming much stronger.
Because though I feel rain, it doesn't really pour.

Usually I watch from the light of day.
I look on as the lightning cracks from above you.
From my umbrella to your cloud of gray.
I'll step into your storm because I love you.

In the end though, it's your storm, not mine.
What am I saying? I don't know the end, it's not time.
I don't know anything, cause right now I'm fine.
In the end though, I know everything will shine.

What scares me is you guys. I feel for you the most.
How can I live my life when so many of you are toast?
But that's just it. I have problems too.
Most of them are minor, some of them are you.

But I still feel young. I'm still inexperienced.
I still haven't found the balance I need.
I know that I've changed. Nobody could deny it.
But change isn't always growth, so I don't know.

Why can't I land in the middle somewhere?
Why do everyone's perspectives always vary?
Why am I so overloaded by this nothing?
Is it just the fact that I really do care?
Or that I'm a fool for finding the unknown scary?
Or maybe it's that there's actually something.
Maybe I'm climbing a big flight of wooden stairs,
Some steps rotting out, and some made of fine cherry.
Maybe when I reach the top it'll be taken from me there.
A burden that I'll no longer ave to carry.
Which will be replaced by another mysterious something.

The will always be another stairwell.
There is always an upper story.
And until I give life a farewell,
I guess I'll be writing this story.

My Heartbeat

Feeling. My reality. My heartbeat.
Freezing. With nobody. No fellow heat.
Beatings. Comfort me? I won't retreat.
Cheating. So shallowly. Isn't that sweet?
Gleaning. So selfishly. You and Darwin should meet.

I've embraced it, and called out the dark.
They're laced in it, pre snuff out the spark.
Come bathe in it. Please, hit the mark.
They're hating this, this righteous shark.
Stop wasting it. Let me feel your heart.

I'm chasing it. Will someone push the cart.
Start facing it! Amidst death you should dart.
You're hating it. By the book you're so smart.
Don't change to it, but really, play your part.
I'm taking it, and thank God, I'm not so smart.

Numbness. I'm safe now, I'm nothing.
Dumbness. I choose to know nothing.
Gumless, I bite, detached from all things.
Now rest, flee from my weak suffering.
Should I jest? Should I do something?

I'm broken down. My actions are dead.
I'm powerful now, in a way I'm ahead.
I choose to wow, you can't get in my head.
I can take a bow, go sleep in the shed
I milk the cow, spill it. Why was it fed?
I'm effortless. It's my comforting med.
A lot to chow, maybe doing that next.
I wipe my brow, remember where I'm led
I'm through now, with being through instead.
I know how to produce. You're my bread.