Escaping Chasing

I refuse to chase this feeling
Besides I'm probably not that fast
Me it should be pulling and reeling
That's the only way it will last

Now and then I try to find it
Though in the past it's invisible and hollow
So I stop the effort to rewind it
And it's then that it starts to follow

At that moment I try to escape
In that instant in some ways I'm dead
Cause I'm simply not in good enough shape
For this feeling to be chasing me instead.

Growing Flat

People are disgusting
I should know. I'm one of them.
You're disgusting.

Wishing I was a Q-Tip
Doing the dirty work so people can hear
Our ears are useless
If we don't listen what's the point in an ear?

We're rusting
In our youth growing older
Becoming a waste, destroyed by our environment.

Rusting. Disgusting.
Not changing at all

Without a License

Exhaustion,
stronger when it steals a man's focus
If it didn't exist much less would've broke us
We stood together
We fought the same war
Even today we still have the same core

Doubtless you'd berate me if you knew how I've failed
Condemning criminals from your cell in your jail
You have no experience
Attempt to be insightful
If you beat dead horses life is much more delightful

Angry at you
I'm over feeling frightened
How do you expect to help the army be enlightened
While pissing off the soldiers standing to the side of you
Instead of having your back I watch them hide from you

Blame me for being licensed
When I crash the car
Refuse to get behind the wheel
You couldn't get that far
I'd rather drive away from you while risking the danger
Than rot here with you
To me you're a stranger.

Around Me

Surround me
like roses around a blade of grass
Around me
I see a fantasy of me in the past

Words confusing as the world,
cause the confused who speak are illogical.
Away my great ideas are hurled
they we're unreal and mythological.

Puzzles stop when I stop pondering
forgetting that the pieces haven't fit.
Halfway I'm empty through wandering
still confused as to why I can't quit

A jumble of words that don't need to be written
A hollow person gradually filling up
A fixed heart that wants to be smitten
and I still want to defeat what's killing us

Loneliness and depression being killed with one stone
Different in definition but are they one bird?
Pausing growth towards being full grown
For once I'm afraid because I know it's absurd

Destroy me
It's a funny idea that wouldn't possibly last
Deploy me
I preform a strategy cause I'm on my way back
Bear with me
Slowly picked up, unable to go fast

Ignorance Isn't Bliss, Cause Ignorance is Me.

Do you ever know what's gonna happen,
Before it ever comes rollin' around?
Do you know the twigs will be snappin'
While unsure if you'll hear the sound?
Do you know the bird will be flappin'
But can't imagine it leaving the ground?

I know what is going to take place.
I know the basics, the outline, and the cast.
I know all of it is just grace,
and it's been given to me so fast.
Everything, every experience I face,
Has been a part of your loving blast.

As I ponder it now, it makes me sober.
Cause I have no skill, no power at all.
Eighteen years ago, some average october,
I was created, unwasted and small.
Now I look back, and I'm not that much older,
But I know I've had more than enough time.
And though I'm in a field of three leaf clover,
You pick out the one with four and let it be mine.

So here I am. This is me saying thanks.
This is me not measuring up.
I'm standing here, just firing blanks,
But I'm watching you light it up.

All I know is the future shouldn't scare me.
But I'm human, I'm dumb, and I'm frightened.
But I'm thanking you now, for carrying me.
My grip upon you has been tightened.

You Can't Hear Me

In between connection and isolation,
searching for the purpose in the weakness.
Imperfection is flaunted by everyone
But can we be blessed in our meekness?
I hear everyone should be accepted for anything
I also hear their anger at my disagreement
But in their confusion they love their suffering.
I know their hearts can be broken. So can cement.
Could I really accept it all? Should we?
I find logic is invalid and ignored.
Yet logic says one is right, not both you and me.
Theres so many dead in this horde.
A diamond is worth less than a man,
yet as people we leave so fast.
We preserve diamonds. We scheme. We plan.
But do we care if our friends will last?
A quarter way through and I'm dying.
Before I know it I'll be there.
I'm going to spend my time trying.
I want you to know that I care.